Looking Glass

I looked up the word fusion as I have had such a scattering of thoughts the last couple of days and was thinking I could fuse them together and make sense of my feelings. Fusion is the act of processing; fusing, the state of being fused. There are political meanings, opthamology, musical, linguistic and nuclear meanings. In short, they all mean, in one facet or another, blend together. Yesterday and today I had some insight onto my inner feelings. Yesterday, I met with my counselor and we discussed multiple things. One of them being my questioning the current situation and doubting myself. She affectionately reminds me, but does not applaud me, though I handled my anger and frustration in adult, temper tantrum manners, this was an effect of a cause. The cause, my, soon to be, ex husband, was not meeting my needs and she agrees he is self centered. It may not be his fault either. I think we both wanted to be happy in our marriage, but from our own past experiences, we did not have the ...

This is the week of my family reunion. I had approved, vacation, time off to attend this event...long before my pending divorce was in place. Now, I am uncertain and unenthusiastic about the whole ordeal. Remember, I have not shared my current situation with more than 4 or 5 people of my family. I know families embrace each other and all, but it is hard for me to try and explain this situation. The questions.."what happened?" "what went wrong?" 'we thought you two were so happy.?" Can I simply answer by saying, "I don't know, I don't know, I don't know?" Suddenly I was frustrated, always. Suddenly I was "put upon", always. Suddenly I saw that my husband was out for himself, not us, always. Suddenly, I found myself disappointed, always. Suddenly, my frustration turned into anger...way too often. Suddenly, I was unhappy. How do you share this circumstance with your family, when, at the reunion of 2007, the soon to be, ex husb...