A Windfall of Thoughts
I have had some fleeting thoughts this morning as I sit on my patio enjoying the view and sipping those first cups of coffee. They are moments and memories that have passed in time and softly blow through my mind, as the subtle breeze toys with the atmosphere now. They are those passing thoughts that have no significance, like the breeze that is neither warming or chilling the air, just passing through with no affect one way or another, simply an addition to the surroundings, like so many times before.
I thought of the fact that a caregiver paged at me at 9:13 AM to say she may not be able to work her eight hour day today. She was having day care issues and despite her son's father supposedly sharing in the custody and care for him, she doesn't trust him and has concerns for her son's well being. She was to return a call to me at 10:30 AM and let me know if her sister in law could babysit, and I even suggested a few hour deal as opposed to the all day shift required...she eventually called back after I placed another call to her, and she has had no luck with coverage of babysitting, which I figured she wouldn't. This is so typical of the workforce...day care issues, laziness, the lack of obligation I see too much of in the world of long term care and the young generation of applicants we are forced to hire. The ones who over utilize the DSHS programs that are available for hardships and rough times. They become "expectant" and expect their bosses to understand on a constant basis. Hell, even when I went through some of my roughest times as a single parent of three and working through these same types of issues, I handled them and worked. I knew my paycheck was a vital part of living for my kids. The only DSHS program I used was to have medical and dental benefits for my kids. It would have cost me around $450.00 to have them enrolled on my medical plan at work. I didn't get the daycare privileges for free, the food bank and food stamp benefits, the funding programs for joining the workforce again...none of it, plus I had to pay for my own divorce and custody battle fees. It makes me all the more proud of my kids and they of I.
I thought about some of those times and recently have had the inclination to blog about more than any of you know. I have debated about whether or not I have the courage to share the good times and bad times of my eighteen year marriage, my second seven and a half year relationship and marriage to FJK, the "X." That would require true confessions and reopening healed wounds or examining wounds closer to the surface. I know that many memories are great and many memories could be lessons learned by a new flock of people. Can I breeze through these memories without affecting my current space? I think I can, but that poses another thought.
If I post these memories, whether lighthearted or dark, what would my blogger friends do? For some reason, I read grumpy's words in my mind, "Claire, this is too deep for me, good bye." I see kden's endearing comments, but she may not be here at year's end. I see bill with his sage advice, "Opening old wounds could be risky. Are you sure you want to go there?" I am not sure he would continue to read my blog either.
I guess I will make that decision in time and see what blows through my mind and see what lands on the page. Until then, I will keep this windfall of thoughts and ideas in my mind's airstream. Stay well my friends.
I thought of the fact that a caregiver paged at me at 9:13 AM to say she may not be able to work her eight hour day today. She was having day care issues and despite her son's father supposedly sharing in the custody and care for him, she doesn't trust him and has concerns for her son's well being. She was to return a call to me at 10:30 AM and let me know if her sister in law could babysit, and I even suggested a few hour deal as opposed to the all day shift required...she eventually called back after I placed another call to her, and she has had no luck with coverage of babysitting, which I figured she wouldn't. This is so typical of the workforce...day care issues, laziness, the lack of obligation I see too much of in the world of long term care and the young generation of applicants we are forced to hire. The ones who over utilize the DSHS programs that are available for hardships and rough times. They become "expectant" and expect their bosses to understand on a constant basis. Hell, even when I went through some of my roughest times as a single parent of three and working through these same types of issues, I handled them and worked. I knew my paycheck was a vital part of living for my kids. The only DSHS program I used was to have medical and dental benefits for my kids. It would have cost me around $450.00 to have them enrolled on my medical plan at work. I didn't get the daycare privileges for free, the food bank and food stamp benefits, the funding programs for joining the workforce again...none of it, plus I had to pay for my own divorce and custody battle fees. It makes me all the more proud of my kids and they of I.
I thought about some of those times and recently have had the inclination to blog about more than any of you know. I have debated about whether or not I have the courage to share the good times and bad times of my eighteen year marriage, my second seven and a half year relationship and marriage to FJK, the "X." That would require true confessions and reopening healed wounds or examining wounds closer to the surface. I know that many memories are great and many memories could be lessons learned by a new flock of people. Can I breeze through these memories without affecting my current space? I think I can, but that poses another thought.
If I post these memories, whether lighthearted or dark, what would my blogger friends do? For some reason, I read grumpy's words in my mind, "Claire, this is too deep for me, good bye." I see kden's endearing comments, but she may not be here at year's end. I see bill with his sage advice, "Opening old wounds could be risky. Are you sure you want to go there?" I am not sure he would continue to read my blog either.
I guess I will make that decision in time and see what blows through my mind and see what lands on the page. Until then, I will keep this windfall of thoughts and ideas in my mind's airstream. Stay well my friends.
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