Looking Glass

  So my energy level has dwindled these last few days with packing and moving. I think my job is so busy and such little help lately, that I come home and have no energy. Then there is that, "always thinking" process, with my brain and it is rarely at peace lately. (sigh here).  My son from Seattle, Derek, and my friend KP have offered to help with the actual moving of goods. Sunday will be the major furniture to the storage unit and the new place. I have my walk through lined up for after work, on Monday. I am trying to figure out a few final details. It will be nice when this move is done and I resettle into a new space, with a roomie and other projects to work on. I need to write the next newsletter for the Toastmaster Club. Crap, I have to give a speech Tuesday at the meeting. Don't even have a title, outline or idea of what I will present. My topic is "To Inform". Hmmm...   My brother from Wisconsin was in town last weekend. While playing dominoes with my ...

  So, there I was this week, starting to pack bits and pieces. I had been collecting some boxes for quite some time. so I am grouping, and piling things together. "Storage stack" and a, "new place" stack, a "throw out" stack and a "donate stack." I go through shifts of emotion. A bit of excitement, a bit of acceptance, a bit of melancholy and even...sadness.   The excitement is rendered from freedom. I can pick up, pack up, and go at my own free will. My decision affects no one. I can look forward to monetary savings and say to myself, "yea, I'll be able to get my hair done when it NEEDS it. Not when I can AFFORD it. I can have an occasional drink out with the girls and maybe not let the brain operate like a cash register in overtime. My housemate and I should get along well. A new friend.   Acceptance bears weight inside me, I see this period in my life for what it is. A growth, a path to gaining my goal of owning my own place again. ...

  The Autumn Party my friend, KP and I held, was delightful. During some of our conversations over the month prior, we had been discussing just having a relaxing, comfortable party to meet some of each other's friends. Make a connection between some of them. All good people, fun, and striving through life.   The scene, KP and I had been planning for a month, warm, comfort food was the main items. Artichoke dip, shrimp dip, pork loin roast with roasted potatoes, homemade stew, homemade squash soup, banana bread, pumpkin bread, and apple crisp for desert.  I had gone over and painted her glass doors with an autumn theme of trees with real leaves used as a brush in fall shades.  A line of three pumpkins in grass at the bottom. Our invitations were, "Welcome Autumn, Welcome friends." We had fall decorations on the table, and spiced hot apple cider warming in a crock pot. Lemons, cinnamon and a touch of cloves rested in a cheesecloth nest inside. The aroma was wonderful ...

   This Writing is from 10/16/11, but never completed. Posting it now. Will write more later. A peaceful morning, with contentment, relaxation and joy surround me. My friend D is sleeping  in the spare room downstairs as she traveled here yesterday for the Autumn Party that KP and I hosted. I am grateful for her. She shines at parties. To describe her; she is only about 5 ft 2 inches, that my be with heels, (smile here), I am not sure, but she weighs barely over 100 lbs, she is a few years older than me, but there again, a person with a young attitude. She reminds me of my sister who has advice to bestow no matter what you are doing in life. She probably had the same scenario at one point. She has a laugh that makes others laugh, whether what she said is funny or not. Her laugh in itself provokes that from you. She is definitely, my most petite friend. She is what I would call a, "spitfire". She is also one of my bestests estes estes friends. (Raise an eyebrow here, I wa...

  Since the last time I posted, I have had some interesting things in my life occur. To me they are interesting, not sure about the adjective my blogger family will put on it. (Smile here). I think I sounded very down trodden in my last couple of posts. I felt things were not clear and that makes me feel distracted, uncertain.   First of all, I turned 50 on the 5th. Holy cow! (gasp here). The weeks prior to that day were a bit unnerving. Trying to say my age without forty at the beginning was a challenge. I remember turning 30 affected me the same way. You know, not being able to say twenty-something? That felt old. This feels old. However, I cannot do a darn thing about it but try to embrace it, which I have, as I mingle with people on the sidewalks of life. I make mental notations on the fact that I seem to be in better shape than many people my junior. I have enthusiasm, (most of the time), a workforce of caregivers that genuinely like me, as well as my co workers. I have ...

This is the Mt. Rainier view I found in that adjoining town, where I traveled earlier this spring. My dream spot to build a house. Original post: 2/2011, Jaunt Part III. A later post I took Derek here to see it. He sent this picture to me tonight.

  There it is, that restlessness, again. That uneasiness in my gut that makes me feel something, a situation of sorts, is going to land right in front of me. This time, it will impact me. Not a good situation either. A test, a circumstance, an uncomfortable or negative occurrence. Now, with financial problems aside, with uncertain ground ahead of me, that's not it. It is a feeling that my emotions are going to get the better of me when this situation occurs. I cannot quite place my finger on the pulse of this emotional uprising, but it is there. It is resting on my horizon like the fog rests above a view you are trying to see. A haziness clouds the view. Outlines, without detail, are there in the distance. You know what to expect when that fog lifts, you can imagine, almost, what it will look like. You strain yourself to see more, to get a clear vision. You want to brace yourself for the effect, when daylight brightens what you are seeing, but cannot. You question where you stand, ...