Previews
Tomorrow is the day...my soon to be, ex husband, will become my ex husband. The actual hearing should be short. We only have one commonwealth loan together. It was for a gas fireplace insert included in the remodeling accomplished on the home, of which I owned for 29 years and he co-owned for 7 months. The refinancing last fall paid for the remodeling other than the insert. $2800.00. When I moved away, we had verbally agreed I would pay $50 per month, half of the monthly loan payment. I paid April, May, June but have not paid July's as I want to see if the judge, or he, holds me to that. If the judge, or he, questions me on that, I'll state that last summer, we spent $2500.00 on a couple of fillings and whitening dental visits for him. It should be a wash. Half of my money paid for those and he insisted we pay that off prior to my first dental visit in 10 years. I went three times this year with good insurance coverage. He had none. Now I see why that happened too. He wanted to look pretty for his public pictures now posted on his websites and his social networking sites. Money was also spent on his out of town travels. Very little spent on travels for us. (sigh here). To be clear, he did not stop me from my wants. I honestly, am just stupidly frugal and did not spend the way he did. Luckily, no joint credit cards between us. We each owned our own vehicles prior to the marriage, hec, my Honda is older than our relationship, period.
I have previewed this day in my mind for a couple of weeks. Sometimes while I am awake, sometimes as I sleep. I've tried to imagine the atmosphere between us, will it be curt as the majority of the conversations have been, will it be friendly or emotional? What will I wear, what will happen after the fact? Will we walk outside together or apart? Will we hug, have final statements for each other or will I just keep on walking to my car? Will he walk to his new truck and drive away? It is very unpredictable.
It is difficult to think of the 8 years together; the shared conversations, the pleasures, the hurts, the family ties, and there we will be. Outside a courthouse having awkwardness with good bye.
I have previewed this day in my mind for a couple of weeks. Sometimes while I am awake, sometimes as I sleep. I've tried to imagine the atmosphere between us, will it be curt as the majority of the conversations have been, will it be friendly or emotional? What will I wear, what will happen after the fact? Will we walk outside together or apart? Will we hug, have final statements for each other or will I just keep on walking to my car? Will he walk to his new truck and drive away? It is very unpredictable.
It is difficult to think of the 8 years together; the shared conversations, the pleasures, the hurts, the family ties, and there we will be. Outside a courthouse having awkwardness with good bye.
Comments
You'll get through it and brighter days are ahead.
I understand exactly what you say about money. I am the frugal one and totally in control of the finances. Not by choice but if I didn't do it, bills would not be paid. He claims he does not know my 'system'. What system? A bill comes, I pay it. Although he doesn't spend extravagantly, he does not hesitate to grab the debit card when he needs something. He doesn't bother to ask if it's a good time to make a purchase right now. So I will continue to be the frugal one who is always trying to save a penny here and there, and he won't.
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