The Day is Done
Wednesday. The day is done. An eight year relationship is legally finished. (sigh here). He is now my ex husband, which will be easier to write than the soon to be, ex husband. (smile here.) I am sure this title will change in time, as the hurt fades and the love lightens...to the ex. Hec, I may just starting typing the X to simplify my writing.
The night before my hearing, I visited my friend and we discussed my attire for the upcoming day. Given the fact that I have dropped some weight, regained my sanity, health and am getting my emotions on track, she strongly suggested my jeans and a nice top despite my suggestion of a skirt. She said, "No, you look so good in your jeans."
The morning of the hearing, after I showered and applied lotion to my slightly, tanned skin, I put on my jeans, a black belt, a pretty white blouse and curled my hair to the hilt. My makeup was applied with more finesse than normal and I donned a new necklace and earrings. Then came the black, spiked, summer heels, of which I rarely wear because they are spiked, summer heels. (smile here.) I had my second manicure and pedicure, (ever), the weekend prior, so my nails wore a vivid, pink polish. Several times during this preparation, I looked up through my bathroom skylight to the sun, and said, "OK God. This must be what you want." Several times during this enhanced routine, I wondered if this is what we both want. Several times during this time frame, I had tears leak from my eyes. Several times I forced my chin up and reminded myself that I deserve to be a husband's priority and he needed something else. Not me. (swallow here).
Just before leaving the complex, I stopped in the main office to inquire about a spare key as my friend and I had planned on "celebrating" Friday. She would arrive to my townhouse before I would return from work. The receptionist caught my attention before I walked out the door and said,"Your hair looks really cute today. Are you going somewhere?" The look of awkwardness crossed her face when I told her I was going to my divorce hearing. I assured her it was OK. Then she clapped her hands, laughed, and invited me to celebrate with them later. I declined very graciously and told her that was happening Friday night. Her compliment and teasing brightened my dampened spirit, all in itself.
As my timing prevailed and I was a bit too ahead of schedule,in spite of the half hour drive, I stopped and filled the Honda gas tank, then, I stopped at a grocery store a few blocks from the courthouse. I purchased a frozen lasagna, and two bottles of wine in case I decided to accept my friend's offer of going to her house when the ordeal was over.
Then, I drove the few blocks to the courthouse and found an acceptable parking spot, right at the curb. I noticed the very soon, to be, ex husband's truck farther up the block.
I walked up the sidewalk, into the weather beaten, stone courthouse, up the steps with the old wooden banisters and beaten, old linoleum, to the second floor. At the top, I looked to my left and there he was, at the end of a very long, high backed, wooden bench, outside of the courtroom. I walked as perkily as possible trying to maintain grace with my 5'8" frame now heightened to 5"10, in his direction, and sat down by him.
A few cordial niceties were spoken first. He did compliment me on how good I looked and I shared a few details of my new location with him. We talked a bit about our future endeavors.
"Do you think you can just take over that fireplace loan?"
He stared at his folder of papers and said, "I don't know. Maybe eventually but I'm going to be unemployed the end of August. I don't know."
"But you have some speaking gigs lined up. Right?"
He said, "I only have one paid gig lined up September 8th. I'll have to leave the place I'm staying, then park my trailer somewhere for a few days until I leave."
I said, nicely, with a matter of fact tone,"That was your choice. I was thinking since we paid $2800 on your dental work last summer and all that money spent on your trips, you could just handle it. Does $50 mean that much to you?"
He said, "Fine, I'll handle it. I know $50 means a lot to you. I'll be getting the bill from the accountant any day now for filing our taxes. I'll pay it then you can send me your half. I'll send you a copy of the bill. I don't even know what I'm going to do with my mail yet." He sadly looked at his folder and said as he tapped his chest, "It was me, I was selfish." I did not agree or disagree.
I gave him a hug and a quick peck on the lips and he pecked me back.
We talked a little about our families and then proceeded into the courtroom.
We were called immediately to the front and the judge discovered he had no Divorce Decree. He had the Dissolution of Marriage and the Fact Finding paperwork. He pointed out a lady who could help us complete the Decree of Divorce.
We met with her in a room and finished it immediately. Back to the courtroom and stood before the judge. As I was the Petitioner, he directed the questioning to me foremost, and the man I was divorcing verified all information.
The line from the judge's lips that I was anticipating finally rang clear,
"Do you consider this marriage irrevocable?"
"Yes", I said.
He asked a few other questions relating to the paperwork before him.
Again, the judge directed the question to me, "Is this marriage irrevocable?"
"Yes", though I had this burning in the gut I was lieing under oath. (frown here.)
Then he looked at the man I have loved and repeated the question, and his head held slightly low, he said "Yes."
Departing from the courthouse, my ex husband and I walked arm in arm. Then, he gently tugged my elbow to pull me to him, and held me with a loving hug. I held him tightly to reciprocate. I apologized for making him sad and he simply said, "No, we just grew differently. Maybe now we can work on being friends."
Not able to hold , quite, all my feelings in check, I touched his face and said, "I love you." He said, "I love you too."
We lightly chatted how maintaining a friendship could work as far as an occasional phone call. He lightened my heart and said he would like to keep up with how my kids are doing. "They're great kids. The only other thing I regret, is not seeing your mom. I need to stop in and see her." (He remembers that I stopped and saw his parents before I moved away.)
I gave him another bear hug and said,"Well, I hope you find what you're searching for. Fame or whatever. Good luck." I turned briskly away and walked to my car. As I passed his parked truck on the way by, he sat in it. I beeped my horn several times and turned the corner.
Then I went to my friend's house...celebrated and mourned that he is now, my ex husband.
The night before my hearing, I visited my friend and we discussed my attire for the upcoming day. Given the fact that I have dropped some weight, regained my sanity, health and am getting my emotions on track, she strongly suggested my jeans and a nice top despite my suggestion of a skirt. She said, "No, you look so good in your jeans."
The morning of the hearing, after I showered and applied lotion to my slightly, tanned skin, I put on my jeans, a black belt, a pretty white blouse and curled my hair to the hilt. My makeup was applied with more finesse than normal and I donned a new necklace and earrings. Then came the black, spiked, summer heels, of which I rarely wear because they are spiked, summer heels. (smile here.) I had my second manicure and pedicure, (ever), the weekend prior, so my nails wore a vivid, pink polish. Several times during this preparation, I looked up through my bathroom skylight to the sun, and said, "OK God. This must be what you want." Several times during this enhanced routine, I wondered if this is what we both want. Several times during this time frame, I had tears leak from my eyes. Several times I forced my chin up and reminded myself that I deserve to be a husband's priority and he needed something else. Not me. (swallow here).
Just before leaving the complex, I stopped in the main office to inquire about a spare key as my friend and I had planned on "celebrating" Friday. She would arrive to my townhouse before I would return from work. The receptionist caught my attention before I walked out the door and said,"Your hair looks really cute today. Are you going somewhere?" The look of awkwardness crossed her face when I told her I was going to my divorce hearing. I assured her it was OK. Then she clapped her hands, laughed, and invited me to celebrate with them later. I declined very graciously and told her that was happening Friday night. Her compliment and teasing brightened my dampened spirit, all in itself.
As my timing prevailed and I was a bit too ahead of schedule,in spite of the half hour drive, I stopped and filled the Honda gas tank, then, I stopped at a grocery store a few blocks from the courthouse. I purchased a frozen lasagna, and two bottles of wine in case I decided to accept my friend's offer of going to her house when the ordeal was over.
Then, I drove the few blocks to the courthouse and found an acceptable parking spot, right at the curb. I noticed the very soon, to be, ex husband's truck farther up the block.
I walked up the sidewalk, into the weather beaten, stone courthouse, up the steps with the old wooden banisters and beaten, old linoleum, to the second floor. At the top, I looked to my left and there he was, at the end of a very long, high backed, wooden bench, outside of the courtroom. I walked as perkily as possible trying to maintain grace with my 5'8" frame now heightened to 5"10, in his direction, and sat down by him.
A few cordial niceties were spoken first. He did compliment me on how good I looked and I shared a few details of my new location with him. We talked a bit about our future endeavors.
"Do you think you can just take over that fireplace loan?"
He stared at his folder of papers and said, "I don't know. Maybe eventually but I'm going to be unemployed the end of August. I don't know."
"But you have some speaking gigs lined up. Right?"
He said, "I only have one paid gig lined up September 8th. I'll have to leave the place I'm staying, then park my trailer somewhere for a few days until I leave."
I said, nicely, with a matter of fact tone,"That was your choice. I was thinking since we paid $2800 on your dental work last summer and all that money spent on your trips, you could just handle it. Does $50 mean that much to you?"
He said, "Fine, I'll handle it. I know $50 means a lot to you. I'll be getting the bill from the accountant any day now for filing our taxes. I'll pay it then you can send me your half. I'll send you a copy of the bill. I don't even know what I'm going to do with my mail yet." He sadly looked at his folder and said as he tapped his chest, "It was me, I was selfish." I did not agree or disagree.
I gave him a hug and a quick peck on the lips and he pecked me back.
We talked a little about our families and then proceeded into the courtroom.
We were called immediately to the front and the judge discovered he had no Divorce Decree. He had the Dissolution of Marriage and the Fact Finding paperwork. He pointed out a lady who could help us complete the Decree of Divorce.
We met with her in a room and finished it immediately. Back to the courtroom and stood before the judge. As I was the Petitioner, he directed the questioning to me foremost, and the man I was divorcing verified all information.
The line from the judge's lips that I was anticipating finally rang clear,
"Do you consider this marriage irrevocable?"
"Yes", I said.
He asked a few other questions relating to the paperwork before him.
Again, the judge directed the question to me, "Is this marriage irrevocable?"
"Yes", though I had this burning in the gut I was lieing under oath. (frown here.)
Then he looked at the man I have loved and repeated the question, and his head held slightly low, he said "Yes."
Departing from the courthouse, my ex husband and I walked arm in arm. Then, he gently tugged my elbow to pull me to him, and held me with a loving hug. I held him tightly to reciprocate. I apologized for making him sad and he simply said, "No, we just grew differently. Maybe now we can work on being friends."
Not able to hold , quite, all my feelings in check, I touched his face and said, "I love you." He said, "I love you too."
We lightly chatted how maintaining a friendship could work as far as an occasional phone call. He lightened my heart and said he would like to keep up with how my kids are doing. "They're great kids. The only other thing I regret, is not seeing your mom. I need to stop in and see her." (He remembers that I stopped and saw his parents before I moved away.)
I gave him another bear hug and said,"Well, I hope you find what you're searching for. Fame or whatever. Good luck." I turned briskly away and walked to my car. As I passed his parked truck on the way by, he sat in it. I beeped my horn several times and turned the corner.
Then I went to my friend's house...celebrated and mourned that he is now, my ex husband.
Comments
Now it's time to celebrate your new life and future!