Pondering the View:First Look
As I sat on my balcony this evening, feeling the cool air slowly seep under my fingernails and chill the hands, I had a sigh escape my stomach, much like the wind escaping the trees. I was feeling my energy withering like the golden, colored leaves that were dangling from the twisted, pointy limbs of the old trees. I had a settling within. A realization that change has occurred with the new season. This acceptance is as real as the cooled air around me. It is as real as knowing winter will be advancing in it's sneaky, quiet way. I can only change clothing to warm me.
Glance Back:
My friend that is moving out of state decided she wanted to go to a local festival last Saturday, as she was hitting the road on Monday. We planned to go to the festival and then meet two other girlfriends for a dinner gathering at my dear friend's house. My traveling friend and I were having a perfectly nice time walking the booths, participating in a few wine tasting samples and then, ended our few hours by mingling with a bunch of our other friends who were camped out for the night. Probably 30 people or so.
It was nice to chat with some old pals for a long period of time and catch up. As soon as we got up to leave, a friend of mine quietly came up to me, put her arm on my shoulder and said, as softly as possible, "Just to forewarn you...I just ran into him by the bathrooms and he's on his way in." I looked her in the eye, "With her?" She nodded with a lost, sad nod. Here comes the x holding hands with another woman. I pointed at him and laughed just as they rounded the bend of someone's RV, and he approached me. I stuck out my hand and said, "How the hec are ya?" He shook my hand and didn't grin, didn't look away, I could not read the expression. Then, I looked at her, square, stuck out my hand. She took it and I said, "Hi, I'm the x wife. You must be Norma." She looked like a deer stuck in headlights. No response, no nothing but a glazed over look. (raise an eyebrow here).
The x took her hand and led her away without as much as a nod to the people behind us. I shouted, "Yea keep going, no body cares you're here." I then glanced behind me to see the other folks not looking at anything in particular. I quickly turned and my friend & I grinned and left. I apologized to my girlfriend for hollering at him. She said, "Don't apologize, you deserved that." Let's not minimize this...I was embarrassed, infuriated, and at the same time, kind of accepting as as I had just gotten wind of this potential relationship. JUST gotten wind of it, a week and a half ago.
It came about from a friend showing me a public posting of them, in a photo, cheek to cheek and arms around each other. And per his schedule, he's been camped out in the same town since he left our little town, with his grandiose claim to fame and new career goal. So much for the country wide tour? This friend said, "I'm just showing you because it looks to me like something's going on. I didn't show you to make you feel bad."
That made me ponder and ponder and start putting two and two together. And this sealed the deal. Interesting how he told me that he did not want to seek counseling as he had chosen a commitment to a marriage, but he has a commitment to his dream, and a counselor would make him pick one commitment. He literally picked a commitment to his dream. No counselor would make him choose. A counselor would try to help us both through the rough patch of the relationship. Then, another time just before the big split, he asked if we should just separate. I replied, "No, that's just your green card to fool around and play me like you did in 2007 when we broke up for 7 months." (thank higher powers for my sensible answer then.)
I did some network checking, and low and behold, her "profile" picture was of herself and the x with a cheek to cheek photo. A couple of others with their arms interlocked. Disheartening.(growling is acceptable here.)Finally cracked, my feelings of him are of total disrespect and dislike. This man that I loved for 8 years.
I am sure there are many people who feel the divorce was final 7/28/10, and two months later, he has the right to be with someone new, especially since I did move out in April. I doubt it just started after the divorce. I have no proof either way. There are those that feel even though he has a new woman, he should have manned up to me and somehow told me, in preparation for, if nothing else, times like this. He had the perfect opportunity a week prior to this crossing, at a bank stop we had to make. We received a $140 refund check written to us both. No bank would accept only one of us being present. So, eight days prior to the festival, we had to cash the check together at a local bank. We walked outside of the bank together. He said not a word of his current relationship.
Pondering the View:Second Look:To Be Posted Soon CK
Glance Back:
My friend that is moving out of state decided she wanted to go to a local festival last Saturday, as she was hitting the road on Monday. We planned to go to the festival and then meet two other girlfriends for a dinner gathering at my dear friend's house. My traveling friend and I were having a perfectly nice time walking the booths, participating in a few wine tasting samples and then, ended our few hours by mingling with a bunch of our other friends who were camped out for the night. Probably 30 people or so.
It was nice to chat with some old pals for a long period of time and catch up. As soon as we got up to leave, a friend of mine quietly came up to me, put her arm on my shoulder and said, as softly as possible, "Just to forewarn you...I just ran into him by the bathrooms and he's on his way in." I looked her in the eye, "With her?" She nodded with a lost, sad nod. Here comes the x holding hands with another woman. I pointed at him and laughed just as they rounded the bend of someone's RV, and he approached me. I stuck out my hand and said, "How the hec are ya?" He shook my hand and didn't grin, didn't look away, I could not read the expression. Then, I looked at her, square, stuck out my hand. She took it and I said, "Hi, I'm the x wife. You must be Norma." She looked like a deer stuck in headlights. No response, no nothing but a glazed over look. (raise an eyebrow here).
The x took her hand and led her away without as much as a nod to the people behind us. I shouted, "Yea keep going, no body cares you're here." I then glanced behind me to see the other folks not looking at anything in particular. I quickly turned and my friend & I grinned and left. I apologized to my girlfriend for hollering at him. She said, "Don't apologize, you deserved that." Let's not minimize this...I was embarrassed, infuriated, and at the same time, kind of accepting as as I had just gotten wind of this potential relationship. JUST gotten wind of it, a week and a half ago.
It came about from a friend showing me a public posting of them, in a photo, cheek to cheek and arms around each other. And per his schedule, he's been camped out in the same town since he left our little town, with his grandiose claim to fame and new career goal. So much for the country wide tour? This friend said, "I'm just showing you because it looks to me like something's going on. I didn't show you to make you feel bad."
That made me ponder and ponder and start putting two and two together. And this sealed the deal. Interesting how he told me that he did not want to seek counseling as he had chosen a commitment to a marriage, but he has a commitment to his dream, and a counselor would make him pick one commitment. He literally picked a commitment to his dream. No counselor would make him choose. A counselor would try to help us both through the rough patch of the relationship. Then, another time just before the big split, he asked if we should just separate. I replied, "No, that's just your green card to fool around and play me like you did in 2007 when we broke up for 7 months." (thank higher powers for my sensible answer then.)
I did some network checking, and low and behold, her "profile" picture was of herself and the x with a cheek to cheek photo. A couple of others with their arms interlocked. Disheartening.(growling is acceptable here.)Finally cracked, my feelings of him are of total disrespect and dislike. This man that I loved for 8 years.
I am sure there are many people who feel the divorce was final 7/28/10, and two months later, he has the right to be with someone new, especially since I did move out in April. I doubt it just started after the divorce. I have no proof either way. There are those that feel even though he has a new woman, he should have manned up to me and somehow told me, in preparation for, if nothing else, times like this. He had the perfect opportunity a week prior to this crossing, at a bank stop we had to make. We received a $140 refund check written to us both. No bank would accept only one of us being present. So, eight days prior to the festival, we had to cash the check together at a local bank. We walked outside of the bank together. He said not a word of his current relationship.
Pondering the View:Second Look:To Be Posted Soon CK
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