A Change in the Landscape
In my part of the state today, it poured rain for a big percentage of the day. I have noticed more caregivers and clients getting restless and frustrated with the chilly weather and sogginess of it all. The gray skies seem endless, sometimes. It does make the attitude a bit down trodden.
I had to do quite a bit of driving for my job today. I went to three new clients' homes and discussed the agency services with them. I do enjoy the people, they make the job valuable and interesting. My drive took me to a locale where I had been driving in the snow a month ago, the island 18 miles from my office. (I even posted about it on February 24th). Last time, I had been one of a few vehicles driving on the snowy roads there. That day, it had been like trespassing in a pristine land, with the snow falling, the whiteness covering the roads, trees and underbrush. The crispness of snowfall enhanced the natural beauty of that island. Today, it was the opposite. The sky was gray and like an illness infesting the landscape. The green trees and underbrush along the roads were shrouded in a mist seeping from the ground, trying to escape to a healthier space. The rain was heavy. A month ago, the strong branches were bending from holding snow. Today, those same branches were bending from being sodden with rain.
So on my drives this day, in the pouring rain, I kept getting this unusual heavy sensation run through me. It may have been affiliated with the weather and my thinking too much while driving, but, I had this feeling that pending in the near future, something is going to happen, either to me, or someone I care about. I could not pinpoint details. I just kept getting that instinct that a life event is coming to someone I know. Of course, we could all say that on any given day, and an event does happen to someone we know...good or bad. There are too many people we know, where SOMETHING happens, and it has a positive or a negative impact on them or us. That's real, that's life, that's a given. But this sensation was sitting inside me, and I could not release the thought of it, the feel of it, the instinct of it. I acknowledged the fact it will be negative, sad or scary. Again, this could simply be relative to the dampening weather. If it were a sunny day, maybe this feeling would have a positive connotation. But, today, it didn't.
As I tried to avowal my thoughts, I started mentally listing circumstances in my life and other people's lives. For me, at the end of May, I may or may not have a different position with my agency of which I am applying for, hoping to have a job closer to my home. I have not heard from my eldest son for a few weeks despite my messages left on his phone. My friend went into the hospital for a few days, with a mysterious fainting spell, of which the doctors cannot determine the cause and affects. My lease is up at the end of June, my money situation remains a challenge to manage, my mom seems fine, my car, with the odometer reading 260,000 miles gives me concern, my boss seems stressed, which is normal, two of my friends just lost parents to death, my Toastmaster Club friends seem fine, and the list continued. I even thought of positive happenings in my life and others lives. But for some reason, an ominous feeling kept fettering an ease in my gut. So, I drove from destination to destination, with a tiredness seeping in, like the rain seeping into the roots of the plant life I passed. I remained professional, informative and positive with my new clients, but deep inside, I couldn't wait to go home.
Poets of greatness may state, to think of such negativity, will only make it happen. Some people of greatness will state, pay attention to your instincts. I know life will change for somebody, if nothing else, an internal landscape will change for someone I know.
I had to do quite a bit of driving for my job today. I went to three new clients' homes and discussed the agency services with them. I do enjoy the people, they make the job valuable and interesting. My drive took me to a locale where I had been driving in the snow a month ago, the island 18 miles from my office. (I even posted about it on February 24th). Last time, I had been one of a few vehicles driving on the snowy roads there. That day, it had been like trespassing in a pristine land, with the snow falling, the whiteness covering the roads, trees and underbrush. The crispness of snowfall enhanced the natural beauty of that island. Today, it was the opposite. The sky was gray and like an illness infesting the landscape. The green trees and underbrush along the roads were shrouded in a mist seeping from the ground, trying to escape to a healthier space. The rain was heavy. A month ago, the strong branches were bending from holding snow. Today, those same branches were bending from being sodden with rain.
So on my drives this day, in the pouring rain, I kept getting this unusual heavy sensation run through me. It may have been affiliated with the weather and my thinking too much while driving, but, I had this feeling that pending in the near future, something is going to happen, either to me, or someone I care about. I could not pinpoint details. I just kept getting that instinct that a life event is coming to someone I know. Of course, we could all say that on any given day, and an event does happen to someone we know...good or bad. There are too many people we know, where SOMETHING happens, and it has a positive or a negative impact on them or us. That's real, that's life, that's a given. But this sensation was sitting inside me, and I could not release the thought of it, the feel of it, the instinct of it. I acknowledged the fact it will be negative, sad or scary. Again, this could simply be relative to the dampening weather. If it were a sunny day, maybe this feeling would have a positive connotation. But, today, it didn't.
As I tried to avowal my thoughts, I started mentally listing circumstances in my life and other people's lives. For me, at the end of May, I may or may not have a different position with my agency of which I am applying for, hoping to have a job closer to my home. I have not heard from my eldest son for a few weeks despite my messages left on his phone. My friend went into the hospital for a few days, with a mysterious fainting spell, of which the doctors cannot determine the cause and affects. My lease is up at the end of June, my money situation remains a challenge to manage, my mom seems fine, my car, with the odometer reading 260,000 miles gives me concern, my boss seems stressed, which is normal, two of my friends just lost parents to death, my Toastmaster Club friends seem fine, and the list continued. I even thought of positive happenings in my life and others lives. But for some reason, an ominous feeling kept fettering an ease in my gut. So, I drove from destination to destination, with a tiredness seeping in, like the rain seeping into the roots of the plant life I passed. I remained professional, informative and positive with my new clients, but deep inside, I couldn't wait to go home.
Poets of greatness may state, to think of such negativity, will only make it happen. Some people of greatness will state, pay attention to your instincts. I know life will change for somebody, if nothing else, an internal landscape will change for someone I know.
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