Exposure
I am now on my seventh day of vacation. I am brown and freckly from the sun. I am relaxed more than I can remember. Guilt is almost a secondary feeling, as I am not accustomed to this way of relaxation nor have had many a time to be this exposed to the sun and laziness. I have had thoughts of , "What should I be doing?" "I haven't started one single project I brought with me to accomplish." But the guilt subsides quickly. I am on vacation. I am revitalizing myself to return to work. Typing of work, I have not received one email, text or phone call from my coworkers at the office. Good for them. Good for me. I am dispensable. They are worthy of tasks I have trained them to manage. The happenings in the office are not my concern. They are my Director's concern. I have certainly deserved this space away from it all. Thank goodness my friends invited me to be their caretaker of the pets, home and plants.
Derek came a day early, per my invitation, on Tuesday evening, rather than Wednesday. He is sparkly, honest, patient and just plain...nice. As I expressed to him, he is the first guy I have been with of the non blond or brown haired "denomination." He is dark haired & dark eyed. He is "meaty", as I have told him. He stated he has gained 40 pounds in the last year, but I only know him as he is now. He has strong arms to hold me, & strong legs to carry himself. (I am a"thigh girl"). We all have attributes and failings. I know what mine are, but I called Derek earlier to ask him what my shortcomings are, per his assessment of me.
"Do you think I'm shallow?" He does not
"Do you think I am critical?" His sentence started with an "um". But he positioned himself as saying not other than with the ex.
"Do you think I am judgmental?" He does think I am on certain topics, but not as a person as a whole. He delivers a nice speech about how when I quit looking back and blaming others, "victim role", I will be an amazing person to find my path in life. So basically, he only finds a couple of shortcomings in my character. I told him of a flaw I have, I am not confident in myself. He instantly said, he has tools to help me with that. I smile through the phone at him and remind him what a genuine, nurturing person he is.
I enjoyed having Derek visit me for a couple of days at this "resort." He was in awe at the lovely place we call the "canal", in my, ole' stopping grounds. I walked him and the dogs on the beach, (smile here), and found myself explaining a lot about clams, oysters, goeducks and the beach, given this livelihood the area provides for many shellfish companies, and personal pass time for folks. The days were hot, clear and yielding to contentment. The beach was beautiful and Derek was surprised at the beauty of this area. I believe he had a less than average picture in his mind of here, which didn't match it's true beauty.
The Hood Canal
The town itself is small and dingy, no employment to speak of for future endeavors, thus, my move from that town. Big excitement was a new Safeway, Starbucks and Rite Aid taking hold here, in the last few years. I understand there could be a potential growth, but...The multiple bodies of water and charming people are the draw. I will always have heartstrings here, as I lived here for 34 years.
My 24 year old son and his gal came to dinner last pm. I love them. He has been with her for only 7 months or so, and I smile as she is the first gal he has claimed as his girlfriend in many years. During one of our conversations, I told him I had hopes of him not living here forever or being pigeonholed here, though I gave him enormous credit for living in Vancouver WA for a few years. He gently reminded me, he thinks I have a bad flavor for this place, and he loves it here. Good enough for me.
So tomorrow I go home, though my friend and I agreed for me to go hang out with her and her family for the afternoon, (on their lakefront property/home) and attend a summer bash at a local restaurant/lounge, entertained by a live band on the lawn. I did do that and had a nice time. I even invited Derek to meet us there, which he did. He's been exposed.
Derek came a day early, per my invitation, on Tuesday evening, rather than Wednesday. He is sparkly, honest, patient and just plain...nice. As I expressed to him, he is the first guy I have been with of the non blond or brown haired "denomination." He is dark haired & dark eyed. He is "meaty", as I have told him. He stated he has gained 40 pounds in the last year, but I only know him as he is now. He has strong arms to hold me, & strong legs to carry himself. (I am a"thigh girl"). We all have attributes and failings. I know what mine are, but I called Derek earlier to ask him what my shortcomings are, per his assessment of me.
"Do you think I'm shallow?" He does not
"Do you think I am critical?" His sentence started with an "um". But he positioned himself as saying not other than with the ex.
"Do you think I am judgmental?" He does think I am on certain topics, but not as a person as a whole. He delivers a nice speech about how when I quit looking back and blaming others, "victim role", I will be an amazing person to find my path in life. So basically, he only finds a couple of shortcomings in my character. I told him of a flaw I have, I am not confident in myself. He instantly said, he has tools to help me with that. I smile through the phone at him and remind him what a genuine, nurturing person he is.
I enjoyed having Derek visit me for a couple of days at this "resort." He was in awe at the lovely place we call the "canal", in my, ole' stopping grounds. I walked him and the dogs on the beach, (smile here), and found myself explaining a lot about clams, oysters, goeducks and the beach, given this livelihood the area provides for many shellfish companies, and personal pass time for folks. The days were hot, clear and yielding to contentment. The beach was beautiful and Derek was surprised at the beauty of this area. I believe he had a less than average picture in his mind of here, which didn't match it's true beauty.
The town itself is small and dingy, no employment to speak of for future endeavors, thus, my move from that town. Big excitement was a new Safeway, Starbucks and Rite Aid taking hold here, in the last few years. I understand there could be a potential growth, but...The multiple bodies of water and charming people are the draw. I will always have heartstrings here, as I lived here for 34 years.
My 24 year old son and his gal came to dinner last pm. I love them. He has been with her for only 7 months or so, and I smile as she is the first gal he has claimed as his girlfriend in many years. During one of our conversations, I told him I had hopes of him not living here forever or being pigeonholed here, though I gave him enormous credit for living in Vancouver WA for a few years. He gently reminded me, he thinks I have a bad flavor for this place, and he loves it here. Good enough for me.
So tomorrow I go home, though my friend and I agreed for me to go hang out with her and her family for the afternoon, (on their lakefront property/home) and attend a summer bash at a local restaurant/lounge, entertained by a live band on the lawn. I did do that and had a nice time. I even invited Derek to meet us there, which he did. He's been exposed.
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