Charm My Way Outta Here

  Sitting here in my room at my computer leaves my mind haggard with ideas and thoughts on how to write at this time. Nothing earthshaking or enlightening is abound in my brain, just ideas that are not in order... ponderings...ponderings of such a broad sort, that even a sieve won't filter through them. I am left to sort them, and this blog is one way to do so, and ye (readers) are the victims of this circumstance. (smile here).

 Retrospect can be a powerful thing. That is a thought process in which we look back and review past choices or circumstances. It allows us to determine what went right or wrong, through the course of our lives. It could also help us self evaluate and improve future outcomes, IE;not make the same mistakes twice. That is a hope, anyway.

 Have you ever thought about yourself in comparison to how others see you? Maybe others view some of our characteristics as flaws, but your reasoning doesn't see them as such. The opposite may be occurring, too...you see flaws within yourself but others don't view them that way, they look at them in a more humane way. An example of this was reflected in a conversation I had with the president of my Toastmaster club. I was a bit critical with the lack of attention another officer was giving to his tasks. Mr. Pres. said, in an effort to d-stress me, "I know you wouldn't let that happen. That's one of the reasons I admire you. You're tenacious." (I had to look the word up in a dictionary to make sure it was positive). (laugh here). Being "tenacious" has also gone hand in hand with being more critical of others. I don't like that characteristic and I shall try to lighten my judgements of others. 

 I am writing this opening as a prelude to the body of my post.

 I have referenced my dear friend, KP, in many posts these last two and a half years. She and I met at Toastmasters, and given the fact that I was VP of Public Relations and she was VP of Membership, we joined forces on numerous projects for the club and carried them to success. We've carried our friendship to success, also. We have had many occasion to hang out together in varying situations;from outings at summer festivals to girls' nights out. From watching football games at her house, to reorganization of her office. From traveling to Hawaii to drives in neighboring towns. Because of these occasions, she has become one of the dearest people to me, ever.

 KP kindly invited me to attend a "winter solstice" party with her, last night. I hadn't met any of the people associated within the group beforehand. They were primarily folks connected with a local college as board of directors, supporters and friends of theirs. KP used to be on that board. Her and her husband started a Jazz Music Scholarship for that college, years ago.That is her connection to this group of fine people.

 I felt a bit out of sorts upon our arrival, of course, not knowing anyone else, or not having an association to the college, were the foremost reasons. But, I eventually relaxed and started my conversations with a few folks. After a few snacks, the hostess passed out a game of knowledge revolving around the end of the world and the Mayans, as this was the evening of the Apocalypse, ya know. (laugh here). Then they played charades and this was tough. The hostess retrieved movie and book titles that referenced the end of days etc...

 The hostess' name was Mary. She eventually had time to relax and sit by me, and we discussed my knowing KP. Then she said, "Are you the one whose daughter just recently got engaged?" I laughed and said yes. She asked me to share the story with her, so I did. Then a bit later, I had the pleasure of chatting with a woman named, Rose. Mary joined in on our conversation and asked me to tell Rose the story of my daughter's engagement. So I did. Rose and I had a lengthy conversation of many matters, and our common ground was being single mothers for a long time, her decision to change careers and study to become a dentist, which she currently practices. Then she talked of her admiration of my resignation, despite my failing attempts at new employment. We discussed her belief in putting your wishes out there to the universe. "That's one way of getting what you want". She talked of a book called, "The Secret," and highly recommended my getting it. It also depicts this karmic belief system. I do believe in karma, ya know. (laugh here). 

 To end our conversation, she said,"Keep trying. I can tell that you have a lot to offer. I can sense that about you." I was a bit taken aback by this as I had only visited with her for 30 minutes. For all she knew, I was a mean, bitchy person. But her sense of me, or her judgement of me didn't imply that. I found this interesting.

 Earlier in the day, among my shopping for Christmas, I stopped at an eatery for a light lunch. It was Asian cuisine, (very cheap), and of course I was given a fortune cookie with the meal. 

Here is the fortune that was inside this little treat:

 Mind you, I received this fortune long before the party I attended. Of course I don't play my life along with something on a piece of paper, I just thought it was interesting that I had two votes of confidence for the same thing, in the same day, from sources I didn't know. Have I been doing something wrong? Maybe I need to charm my way outta of this situation and see where I go.