More Inklings

  After I arrived at the office, calmed down after a disturbing "page" from on call, I settled into completing other tasks when  I heard my cell phone bleep.  It was tucked into my purse, sitting under my desk. Normally, I don't answer my phone or do personal pc tasks at work, but for some reason, I wanted to see what this bleep was about. Something pulled me to it. Below are the answers to the bleeps. My daughter sent me pictures of her dress shopping time. This is not the first time she has sent me pictures during her ventures for the perfect dress. This has been happening for at least 6-7 months. I love her for including me as best she can.

 

 She asked for my opinion and I quickly texted her my answers and comments. No matter which she chooses, she'll be gorgeous. I was envious of the fact that her mother in law, to be, was able to participate with these outings. I was grateful, as well. She is marrying into a good family, and "mom to be" is making a good proxy for me. I told my daughter this in a phone call later, that I placed to her during my lunch hour. She purchased dress #1. She shied away from others because they "clung" to her, and she is self conscious of her muscular legs...she is 5'6", weighs about 125 and because of all those years playing soccer, her marathon running and being a track star, (yes, she broke two high school records, individually, and as part of a relay team, which earned her a place at the state championships).  She is healthy and glowing and smart as a whip. She is a hard worker and loved by an insurmountable number of people. But, she decided she needs to feel perfectly confident and lovely and dress #1 did not have the "cling factor," as the others did. 
 My heart was full of love and a sense of missing her so much, during this life changing event. I had this inkling I would love to be near her for the next year, on this pathway of her life. She's told me before, "Mom, they have in home care agencies in Houston, too." I even reiterated to her, I really have no ties to this area any more. I have lived without seeing her much for 6 years, so maybe it was our turn. The boys and I don't see each other much, despite the fact they only live an hour away. I've had this conversation with my eldest as well. He said, "It would suck not having you here, but you are right, nothing is really holding you down." We talked about heartstrings pulling me to the Midwest again, to be near family I haven't been near for 3 decades. My friend in Hawaii has always told me she'd help me in anyway if I moved there. I have a dear friend in Lexington, KY who moved there two short years ago.  She'd be ecstatic if I moved there.
 So, my heartstrings are pulling at me, in many directions. I am having a cupful of inklings about my life right now. Who knows what will happen? Who knows which string will pull the hardest? Or, maybe there's a stronger tie here than I realize right now.