Danger in the Mist
I have enjoyed my lovely view of the water and surrounding trees since I moved here in October. I have grown accustomed to the sound of the water foul on the inlet, landing and splashing there, sometimes not so gracefully, or smoothly floating on the water leaving small ripples of their beings behind them. I have grown used to the peace and quiet of this neighborhood and acclimated to the stillness.
I and my friend KP, who lives above me, see less of each other now than in the past. But, trust me, we have had our times of gathering and wine, talking non stop, of laughs, of seriousness and the sharing of information that should be bestowed upon the world. She is a serial entrepreneur and I have tried listening, guiding and allowing her to cope as she steps into her future of retirement, of finding out, "where will I land?"
She is a favorite person in my "cast of characters," (good analogy kden), and I see her remaining in my heart far beyond my vision and curtains now. Her stories are delightful, heart wrenching and wise. I am so glad she is a friend...so glad she is a good friend! I am proud that she continues to move forward with outings, her jazz parties, involvement with mentoring new business owners through the Economic Development Council here in Olympia, and just being a darn good person to all. Her circles of friends are limitless! She often shares a story about an event she is attending, only to find the person sitting next to her worked for her dad, or worked with her in real estate, or was a real estate client. She has made mass connections and re connections throughout her life and the positive spin they end up having is a sure fire way of reaffirming she is and has always been a good person.
One night as we discussed current events and life in general, we were laughing so hard at some of the stories we shared, we decided we needed to start a blog. We typed out the first post and saved it on a Word Document for when we create a site to announce to the world. We decided that not only are we funny, but we both have so many life lessons to share, other people may learn from them. Other people can comment and engage with us. That is our premise. Maybe some day we will follow through with the project and it won't be just a tooting of our horns through wine colored glasses.
Despite my gratefulness of where I live, there is a danger lurking in the mist. Despite the opening lines of this post, there is a danger that goes hand in hand with the peacefulness, the stillness and the view that calms you. I feel, ironically, a subtle danger revolves within this space because the view is almost too much of an invitation to dance with solitude. It draws you in and makes it hard to leave. I am so tired after a day at work and an hour drive home, that I find it hard to break my routine of coming home, eating and turning into a couch potato. I still have Toastmaster tasks and I attend a meeting once or twice a month, but I am so darn tired, I have a difficult time mustering up any other energy to go for a beloved power walk, blog, visit friends or keep my apartment as tidy as it should be. This my friends is where the danger lies.
Until recently, my blood pressure was sky high, I have gained 20+ pounds, I have a job that frustrates me more than makes me happy and I have failed at becoming a non smoker. I have great distaste for myself right now because of these things. I know that is where the true danger is...it is within myself, not the view, the space or lack of tasks...it is me.
I have continued to check out audio books as a reprieve of my driving. Most of them have been organizing yourself or supposed uplifting books, but to no avail have they helped me accomplish either. I know in my mind that I have to really accept the changes needed of myself in order to enjoy this lovely space and view. But, I am having a difficult time motivating myself to do what I know I ought to. I find it easier to blame the job, the commute or tiredness on this lack of energy.
So now, now that I truly understand my situation, I need to pull up my boot straps and tackle this danger on my terms. I have taken small steps into this arena by paying my friend to professionally update my resume and have submitted it to a couple of local businesses for hire. This step was scary because I am so used to being in this world of long term care, I concern myself with learning another. I still have that memory of the year I tried and failed to step out of the industry. I keep trying to cut down the smoking. I finally found an audio book that is different than others. The book is called A Season of Unlikely Happiness and it sounds like the author compiled her journals from life into a story. It resonates with me. It reminds me of our blogs and posts of life and normal occurrences. It reminds me that millions of books are similar, folks just write what they know and what they have experienced.
In the mean time, I shall appreciate my position of independence, keep attempting to walk in the mist and forge ahead. I need to not fear the uncertain and what danger is there, kick at it, step by step, whether blinded by it or not.
That mist is the future and we all have to face it, one step at a time. After all, mist dissipates and our future changes with each new day and with each new step into it. Its how we tread that counts, rather than stopping at the edge of it.
I and my friend KP, who lives above me, see less of each other now than in the past. But, trust me, we have had our times of gathering and wine, talking non stop, of laughs, of seriousness and the sharing of information that should be bestowed upon the world. She is a serial entrepreneur and I have tried listening, guiding and allowing her to cope as she steps into her future of retirement, of finding out, "where will I land?"
She is a favorite person in my "cast of characters," (good analogy kden), and I see her remaining in my heart far beyond my vision and curtains now. Her stories are delightful, heart wrenching and wise. I am so glad she is a friend...so glad she is a good friend! I am proud that she continues to move forward with outings, her jazz parties, involvement with mentoring new business owners through the Economic Development Council here in Olympia, and just being a darn good person to all. Her circles of friends are limitless! She often shares a story about an event she is attending, only to find the person sitting next to her worked for her dad, or worked with her in real estate, or was a real estate client. She has made mass connections and re connections throughout her life and the positive spin they end up having is a sure fire way of reaffirming she is and has always been a good person.
One night as we discussed current events and life in general, we were laughing so hard at some of the stories we shared, we decided we needed to start a blog. We typed out the first post and saved it on a Word Document for when we create a site to announce to the world. We decided that not only are we funny, but we both have so many life lessons to share, other people may learn from them. Other people can comment and engage with us. That is our premise. Maybe some day we will follow through with the project and it won't be just a tooting of our horns through wine colored glasses.
Despite my gratefulness of where I live, there is a danger lurking in the mist. Despite the opening lines of this post, there is a danger that goes hand in hand with the peacefulness, the stillness and the view that calms you. I feel, ironically, a subtle danger revolves within this space because the view is almost too much of an invitation to dance with solitude. It draws you in and makes it hard to leave. I am so tired after a day at work and an hour drive home, that I find it hard to break my routine of coming home, eating and turning into a couch potato. I still have Toastmaster tasks and I attend a meeting once or twice a month, but I am so darn tired, I have a difficult time mustering up any other energy to go for a beloved power walk, blog, visit friends or keep my apartment as tidy as it should be. This my friends is where the danger lies.
Until recently, my blood pressure was sky high, I have gained 20+ pounds, I have a job that frustrates me more than makes me happy and I have failed at becoming a non smoker. I have great distaste for myself right now because of these things. I know that is where the true danger is...it is within myself, not the view, the space or lack of tasks...it is me.
I have continued to check out audio books as a reprieve of my driving. Most of them have been organizing yourself or supposed uplifting books, but to no avail have they helped me accomplish either. I know in my mind that I have to really accept the changes needed of myself in order to enjoy this lovely space and view. But, I am having a difficult time motivating myself to do what I know I ought to. I find it easier to blame the job, the commute or tiredness on this lack of energy.
So now, now that I truly understand my situation, I need to pull up my boot straps and tackle this danger on my terms. I have taken small steps into this arena by paying my friend to professionally update my resume and have submitted it to a couple of local businesses for hire. This step was scary because I am so used to being in this world of long term care, I concern myself with learning another. I still have that memory of the year I tried and failed to step out of the industry. I keep trying to cut down the smoking. I finally found an audio book that is different than others. The book is called A Season of Unlikely Happiness and it sounds like the author compiled her journals from life into a story. It resonates with me. It reminds me of our blogs and posts of life and normal occurrences. It reminds me that millions of books are similar, folks just write what they know and what they have experienced.
In the mean time, I shall appreciate my position of independence, keep attempting to walk in the mist and forge ahead. I need to not fear the uncertain and what danger is there, kick at it, step by step, whether blinded by it or not.
That mist is the future and we all have to face it, one step at a time. After all, mist dissipates and our future changes with each new day and with each new step into it. Its how we tread that counts, rather than stopping at the edge of it.
Comments
Grumpy, you make it sound so easy.