Looking Glass

   This Writing is from 10/16/11, but never completed. Posting it now. Will write more later. A peaceful morning, with contentment, relaxation and joy surround me. My friend D is sleeping  in the spare room downstairs as she traveled here yesterday for the Autumn Party that KP and I hosted. I am grateful for her. She shines at parties. To describe her; she is only about 5 ft 2 inches, that my be with heels, (smile here), I am not sure, but she weighs barely over 100 lbs, she is a few years older than me, but there again, a person with a young attitude. She reminds me of my sister who has advice to bestow no matter what you are doing in life. She probably had the same scenario at one point. She has a laugh that makes others laugh, whether what she said is funny or not. Her laugh in itself provokes that from you. She is definitely, my most petite friend. She is what I would call a, "spitfire". She is also one of my bestests estes estes friends. (Raise an eyebrow here, I wa...

  Since the last time I posted, I have had some interesting things in my life occur. To me they are interesting, not sure about the adjective my blogger family will put on it. (Smile here). I think I sounded very down trodden in my last couple of posts. I felt things were not clear and that makes me feel distracted, uncertain.   First of all, I turned 50 on the 5th. Holy cow! (gasp here). The weeks prior to that day were a bit unnerving. Trying to say my age without forty at the beginning was a challenge. I remember turning 30 affected me the same way. You know, not being able to say twenty-something? That felt old. This feels old. However, I cannot do a darn thing about it but try to embrace it, which I have, as I mingle with people on the sidewalks of life. I make mental notations on the fact that I seem to be in better shape than many people my junior. I have enthusiasm, (most of the time), a workforce of caregivers that genuinely like me, as well as my co workers. I have ...

This is the Mt. Rainier view I found in that adjoining town, where I traveled earlier this spring. My dream spot to build a house. Original post: 2/2011, Jaunt Part III. A later post I took Derek here to see it. He sent this picture to me tonight.

  There it is, that restlessness, again. That uneasiness in my gut that makes me feel something, a situation of sorts, is going to land right in front of me. This time, it will impact me. Not a good situation either. A test, a circumstance, an uncomfortable or negative occurrence. Now, with financial problems aside, with uncertain ground ahead of me, that's not it. It is a feeling that my emotions are going to get the better of me when this situation occurs. I cannot quite place my finger on the pulse of this emotional uprising, but it is there. It is resting on my horizon like the fog rests above a view you are trying to see. A haziness clouds the view. Outlines, without detail, are there in the distance. You know what to expect when that fog lifts, you can imagine, almost, what it will look like. You strain yourself to see more, to get a clear vision. You want to brace yourself for the effect, when daylight brightens what you are seeing, but cannot. You question where you stand, ...

  As time passes, it is more of a pressure situation to move out of my lovely townhouse, with the cute little balcony, and find a less expensive place to live. Job searching is slow, searches for places to live is daunting and the bills are building faster than everything. I have looked at a couple of places, and as I have stood in a room to rent in a multi housemate place, I think to myself, "Isn't this what I should have done at twenty something, not fifty?" I looked at two rooms at one spot and it was apparent that I will be socked into one room with shared living spaces. Really? Really? Have I come to that? Yes, I have. If I see any financial ground being gained, this is the only way feasible at this time, unless I land a job that pays $60k per year...in a month. So, here again, I will pull my big girl panties up and keep the goal in mind. I still have a few landlords to meet and check out their spaces. I met one gal tonight and got an instant, positive "feel...

  The following Tuesday after mine and Derek's discussions over the weekend, I was debating about attending my Toastmaster meeting. I was tired from work, and my normal enthusiasm was not apparent. Derek, (the President of the club this year), had emailed the officers that we would hold an Officers Meeting after the regular, club meeting. Really? Really? So, I pulled my big girl panties up and attended. The regular meeting ensued as normal, but the officer's meeting was, a bit more  lively.  Derek handed out the copies of the budget and agenda, and convened the meeting like a pro. Our area governor happened to be there as an observer. Right off the bat, I could tell this was not going to be short and sweet as promised by the pres, as he was rambling on, co officers were discussing non important items. I got unsettled and grouchy, quickly. Hey, I was tired! During the meeting, it became questionable if Derek was under the influence of alcohol. (I thought he was overcompen...

A Strong Man Derek, Derek, with a heart of gold, You chose a woman who was more than bold. You chose a woman of strength, you knew, You chose a woman, who you found true. Derek, Derek, with spring in your walk, You chose a woman, of whom you could talk. You chose this woman to have nearby, You chose her to fill, an unknown why. Derek, Derek, with kind regard, You eased some moments, when they were hard. You took her sadness, she held for a year, You took her sadness and turned it to cheer. Derek, Derek, with arms so strong, You held her tight, when things were wrong. Because of you, she has some space, Because of you and your warm embrace. Derek, Derek,with a spirit of light, This woman you chose, confused what's right. This woman's path was not concrete, This woman's timing, missed a beat. Derek, Derek,with eyes of brown, Your shining smile is upside down. Your heart is heavy, because you dared. Your heart is heavy, because you cared. Derek, De...