Perception
As of yesterday, my soon to be, ex husband, announced on national internet sites, his resignation from his executive position in order to travel the states. This is to embrace his newest career of public speaking and follow a dream. He has already purchased a new truck and fifth wheel camper to embark on this adventure. He will begin his travels and video postings in September while he, hopefully, retains paid speaking gigs. Of course, my first happenstance of this was a phone call from my friend, not him. Which came first, the chicken or the egg? The plan or the divorce?
In light of this announcement, naturally, I have pondered the last year of our marriage and thought, often, when he was away on his 3-4 day conferences and speaking seminars, what suggestions from others may have enhanced his possibilities and ideas of such? I know from conversations and arguments with him, I was to accept his dream, no matter where that left me...at home caring for the household and continuing with a frustrating job that I had burned out on 4 years ago.
I've been with the same company for 15 years, I am obligated to be on call every 3 weeks, for one week periods, and he has seen first hand the challenges and interruptions that entails. He cared about HIS desires. I was the cushion and second income he grew accustomed to. Yet, I stood up for myself and disagreed with his expectations of me, often. I fought being his tenth priority. (Now I see why I was a tenth priority.) I feel he was focused on his next career steps rather than his marriage. Then he questioned my frustrations and unhappiness? I think for some time I noticed his lack of regard for me.
Here's the kicker: his presentations will focus on Internet Social Networking and helping businesses prosper. One of his catch phrases is: "I want to help you achieve your dreams." Yet, he refused to support me in quitting my job to search for other, less stressful employment, even though I have a retirement plan, 6 weeks paid vacation, and his income to survive on during that time frame. (I survived on much less with 3 children to support.) I was supportive of his filing for bankruptcy in leaving his retail business 4 years ago. Guess what job he found 4 months later? The executive position he just resigned from. That job, obviously with his talent, was the next stepping stone to his current career move.
Does this smack of falseness to anyone else? He'll help you or your business achieve success, but could not support his wife achieve a goal of new employment.
My wondering, questioning, and considering this information changes nothing. His next chapter is being written, also. I just hope in the credits, he remembers to list my name as the first person who supported his endeavors. I doubt he will.
I will not dwell on this for long. It only creates a whirlwind of thoughts and feelings that sadden or anger me. We should both be happy and we were not. I have spoken to a few of my dearest, heart held people of their perceptions regarding his pathway. I will share their insights on a different posting, as well as their advice on should I or should I not react to him, or send the soon to be, ex husband on his merry way, in a cordial fashion. Our divorce will be final in two weeks.
Readers are welcome to post advice. Learned experience may be helpful here.
In light of this announcement, naturally, I have pondered the last year of our marriage and thought, often, when he was away on his 3-4 day conferences and speaking seminars, what suggestions from others may have enhanced his possibilities and ideas of such? I know from conversations and arguments with him, I was to accept his dream, no matter where that left me...at home caring for the household and continuing with a frustrating job that I had burned out on 4 years ago.
I've been with the same company for 15 years, I am obligated to be on call every 3 weeks, for one week periods, and he has seen first hand the challenges and interruptions that entails. He cared about HIS desires. I was the cushion and second income he grew accustomed to. Yet, I stood up for myself and disagreed with his expectations of me, often. I fought being his tenth priority. (Now I see why I was a tenth priority.) I feel he was focused on his next career steps rather than his marriage. Then he questioned my frustrations and unhappiness? I think for some time I noticed his lack of regard for me.
Here's the kicker: his presentations will focus on Internet Social Networking and helping businesses prosper. One of his catch phrases is: "I want to help you achieve your dreams." Yet, he refused to support me in quitting my job to search for other, less stressful employment, even though I have a retirement plan, 6 weeks paid vacation, and his income to survive on during that time frame. (I survived on much less with 3 children to support.) I was supportive of his filing for bankruptcy in leaving his retail business 4 years ago. Guess what job he found 4 months later? The executive position he just resigned from. That job, obviously with his talent, was the next stepping stone to his current career move.
Does this smack of falseness to anyone else? He'll help you or your business achieve success, but could not support his wife achieve a goal of new employment.
My wondering, questioning, and considering this information changes nothing. His next chapter is being written, also. I just hope in the credits, he remembers to list my name as the first person who supported his endeavors. I doubt he will.
I will not dwell on this for long. It only creates a whirlwind of thoughts and feelings that sadden or anger me. We should both be happy and we were not. I have spoken to a few of my dearest, heart held people of their perceptions regarding his pathway. I will share their insights on a different posting, as well as their advice on should I or should I not react to him, or send the soon to be, ex husband on his merry way, in a cordial fashion. Our divorce will be final in two weeks.
Readers are welcome to post advice. Learned experience may be helpful here.
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