Mother

 February blew through my life like a wind blows through a demesne, leaving some debris, some clean up, some changes. These winds also leave a landscape in need of remembrance, review and revitalization. This is the feeling that sits internally, while I think of my mother's passing, think of my 5 days in Hawaii after her passing, and coming back to work after 2.5 weeks were swept away to my past. I only worked for 9 days this month, and I do not recall ever working that little.
 The passing of my mother has left debris of her estate in need of order, of which I am Executor, and of course, the change of not having a mother at all, and the fact that my children have lost their last grandparent, is a change in our life, that must be acknowledged.  I do not feel the full impact of this yet. I have learned from personal observation and professional wisdom, that the details of such a passing, occupies one's mind and physical abilities for a month or two. I know my time will come. I know it will be a thought or a memory of her, which will open my flood gates, and allow me to wash away any old debris which hinders me, now. I know there will, likely, be a period of depression accompanying the grief. Possibly, denial for a while. I know myself well enough to know, I will process this all and have my time of mourning and my time of regrowth. I know it will take many winds to guide me through this process. I know that my views of life will change, as well as my thoughts and processes. I already realize, and appreciate, the woman she was, and the legacy she left within her family.
 The following is the Eulogy I wrote and read at her service in Austin, MN, on February 10th, 2012, in front of 99 attendees sitting in the church I attended as a child:
 We are gathered here today to participate in a ceremonial embrace of Catherine Jenkins' life. She was born on March 23rd, 1917 to the parents of Joseph and Catherina Schmidt, in Waldorf, MN. Her family grew to include 10 siblings; Marie, Carl, Benny, Alice, George, Tony, Joe, Theresa, Rosie & Dorothy.
 During her youth, Catherine worked as a cook and housekeeper for a local family in order to pay her tuition to attend high school. Even at that time, she valued knowledge and learning. This is a trait she carried throughout her life. She later met a strapping man named Henry Jenkins at a local dance club. The love of these two people began Catherine's true legacy. As she married Henry, most lovingly called, "Bud", on June 26th, 1936 in Adams, MN, I believe their legacy to leave would be their children, of which they had nine; John, Judy, George, Mary, Marlene, Tom, Paul, Carol & Margi.
 Her ability to nurture was one of my mother's greatest qualities. This trait was not only evident in her raising myself and my eight brothers and sisters, but in everything she cared for. You cannot speak of my mom without acknowledging the strength she showed in overcoming obstacles and hardships in her life. She overcame the obstacle of raising nine children as a widow.
 Her desire to learn and nurture was apparent again as she completed LPN and RN schooling, after my dad's death. This was her pathway to her career in nursing.
 There are many adjectives  suitable to describe my mom; kind, thoughtful, generous, patient. these qualities enhanced her gregarious nature which easily welcomed her into many groups. Card clubs, garden clubs and St. Edward's Parish in Shelton.
 Legacy is what you leave behind when your physical being leaves this earth. It is not always dictated by wealth, fortune, or notoriety.
I believe at this moment, my mother and father are holding hands after a 50 year separation, and looking down upon us and the legacy they left. Thank you all for being part of that legacy.