Looking Glass

 The first note since 2020. The current events and world is in more crisis than last time and weirdly tied. The new administration is terrifying, lawless and vengeful. Not distinguished at all.  Good Night.

Due to the unrest and uncertainty in the world as of July 2020, due to my personal unrest of the plague sweeping the world and the civil disobedience of the world, I wrote this poem to relieve my personal pressure and address those that think our society should be perfect or those that find something to complain about, always. Generation Links Each generation shall have disdain From forefather’s societal and worldly stain. They strive to correct what was lain, Suffering like bruises and scars in vain. Each generation shall find unrest Of forefather’s topics they thought best; Government, its citizens, earthly goods, Topics that have power and are misunderstood. Mankind will fail its chase of perfection As each generation finds anew and rejection. The foresight of man is often unsound                        Leaving grandeur and regrets, histori...

 Today is the first day I have checked out my blog in months. I popped into some of my friends' blogs to take a peek and was surprised to find that grumpy has stopped blogging as of July. I was very surprised to see that grumpy has stopped his writings and sharing his opinions of the world and current events. How is he keeping his mouth closed? (Haha) Kden (bless her) still blogs and I am happy for that.  Kden continues to post pictures on her photo blog and she shares information about her pet sitting business and employment. If you knew how much she loves pets (especially dogs) you'd understand.(A sigh of relief  is blown here.)  I have taken way too much time away from blogging, this venting system to cyber space. This sharing or shouting of life's meandering, this platform of seeking input or advice from those that care. This author-like way of putting my feelings on a page without regard to what a proofreader or publicist would say. This updated way of voicing...

 In order to write again, I need to feel whole; I need to review, reflect and decipher.  I need to  accept where I am at this moment, from either going backwards in life or stepping ahead to the present.  The year 2016 was a year of much self growth. Partially with my challenging job at Sea Mar as the Front Office Supervisor of a community health clinic. I supervised the reception team of five, whose primary responsibility was to check in patients, schedule appointments, process sensitive documents to our records department and adapt to changes put forth by administration, of which there were many. We also were responsible for informing patients of health measures being implemented and dealing with all types of people. Some grateful for the OBAMA care, and others, not so much. I was complained to or yelled at daily by patients who used me as their sounding board for health and political topics.  Out of 32 clinics, my team always performed within the top 2-5 pe...

As happens with me sometimes, I remember I used to have a blog. I decided to see if my old friends were still writing, and to my relief, they are. I didn't miss the fact that I hadn't written in thirteen months. 2016 and 2017 were definite years of change for me. Not sure I want to go back and review them, I prefer to look ahead at this point, and keep my view of the past two years behind blinds for now. I will open them at some point I am sure, but for now, I will make efforts to post on occasion. I hope to spend some time in the near future to catch up on blog reading.

 With the very busy holiday season and changes with the Toastmaster's club, Match has not been my priority, however I check that system emails, etc...search a bit for a catchy profile, but certainly did not dwell with the site.  One guy living in Olympia who is 6'2" and has a aforementioned profile, connected with me through Match email. Most photos were decent but his kind eyes caught my attention. The second photo was a pose on big steps in an officer's uniform. His 6'2" frame wore it well.  Through emailing we bantered or wrote back and forth and finally, decided to meet for coffee on a Saturday morning at 11:00 AM.  Nice looking man walked through the coffee shop door while I stood waiting for my latte' to be made. The morning was very nippy in the PNW, and the coffee house patrons filled all of the tables. This guest reprieve from the cold created a brief awkwardness when he paid for his coffee and we noticed there were...

 I am not sure how I will be able to describe to my friends the format and templates of Match.com and how to establish your profile: answering standardized questions, uploading pictures, and typing up to 4,000 words into preformed boxes to describe your  likes, interests or the type of partner you seek. When these templates are filled, you have your profile.  Your next step is "searching" for your match via the hundreds or so profiles of guys that did the same thing as you with the above task. At this point, you are open to have your profile viewed by them. There is the typical "thumbs up or down buttons" when Match suggests good candidates. You can also give a guy thumbs up on photos. They can then see the profile of this admirer if desired. Next, when you wish, you can send a match.com email to this person. Nice thing; you don't have to share your personal email. This mini email system is embedded right into your match.com site. There is also IM-Instant Mess...

 Whelp, yes, I finally did it. After prodding from friends, listening to humorous, horror and heartfelt stories, I finally did it. I took the plunge and joined Match.com. I haven't been involved with anyone for 4 plus years and my last attraction when apartment hunting three years ago had left me quite satisfied with my independence. I have been content with my life. I am proud of the steps I took in the last few years to land me on my feet, yet again.  Am I lonely? No. Do I need a man to feel whole? No. Do I miss sex? No. Do I miss companionship with that of a man? No. Was I forced to take this step into the cyber world of dating? No. I actually don't have a strong need for this. I think I just thought it might be nice not to be alone for the next twenty, thirty years. I think I just need something to do other than hang out with my girlfriends of Toastmaster friends for social outings. I guess it would be nice to have someone to converse with in the eveni...

 I look outside and see the beautiful summer melt away leaving the area abound with rain, as if the clouds were crying the loss of warmth for the world. The shedding of weathered change turned into days of rain and the anticipation of Daylight Savings time to "fall back" and loose an hour of the day loomed in citizens' minds. The annual, winter task is to happen in three days and with the Pacific Northwest acquiring a rainy reputation, it only solidified the dread of early evening darkness. But I reminded myself over and over that a positive attitude was needed to overcome the negativity of  the weather. I needed to be glad for the nice summer enjoyed and the holidays ahead. I have patted myself on the back for having a healthy jump on my X-Mas shopping, and that brings an inner, positive smile.  A random thought I had a second ago, was to get off my ass and start swimming. Yea, like that will happen; I live 1.5 miles from a ...

 This day, September 23rd, 2015 my mother's house will be completely void of her ownership; living or deceased. I signed the papers to sell the house yesterday. Of course, the phone calls to the family a month ago sealed our decision to take the offer, despite it being 29k under asking. (Purchaser got a hell of a deal.)  I have already called businesses and started cancelling things like insurance, garbage service, notifying the association of the development in title. I contacted the attorney a week ago to review the real estate docs and start closing the estate. He reviewed the documents but said it was pointless to start paperwork until the sale was a "done deal.." The bank accounts will be a piece of cake as I have managed them well and have a plan thought out for sending final documents to my family. The unbound fact is this sale will alleviate many bricks from my shoulder. However, my Executorship won't be completely over until tax season next year a...

 Do you ever get stuck in that space between motivation and accomplishment? That void where you are over thinking choices too much and using that in itself as an excuse to procrastinate more? Or allowing the indecisiveness of where to step next tumble through your brain to the point of overwhelm?  Those are the thoughts for me lately. As much as I love the basement apartment where I live...for cheap...with a great water view...with a nice landlady...I have felt the shortcomings lately...this third year of living here. I miss not having an oven to bake muffins or cookies or a baked chicken. I miss having a dishwasher, although that really isn't major. I miss not having my "stuff," the couch, my end tables and artwork, my bulk of art supplies. I really miss the lack of storage. As I weigh these items to decide about my next abode, I create a scale of pros and cons without it tipping either way, easily.  I can't decide if I've become ungrateful for...

  The title of this post is definitely not literal.  It is quite the opposite. June broke into sunny warm days that  started the month and it exited the year by leaving hotter weather behind it. July barely had winds at all,  which is the nod to the ironic title.  The winds of July reference the surprises and activities that the month held in store for me after a pleasant visit with my nephew at the end of June. Six years has spanned our last meeting at a family reunion. He is thin, tall and bears a smile easily on a face resembling his mother, my sister Mary.  He talks happily of life with a family and a chiropractic practice despite some hard years not so long ago. His two boys are the prime ages of five and eight and they still like hanging out with mom and dad (smile here).The "family man" characteristics definitely exist for him.  He had a friend on his coattails during the three day stay at my house and thanks...

 I have noted in many blog posts of writing about my life's history in order to lead readers up to the beginning of this blog, five years ago. I opted not to start at the beginning of my time, although that is important to write about at some point; childhood memories, family happenings and the like. But, not today.  I debated about starting at the middle of my life which would peg me at 27 years of age, as I turn 54 this year.  At that point in time, I gave birth to my third child, had been married for 7 years and was a "stay at home mom," raising the kids and that first husband. Despite the importance of that year in my life, I didn't want to start there today either.  I chose not to start at the beginning nor the middle, but at a pivotal time in my young life; age fifteen. It was the year my mother uprooted me from my family and hometown in Minnesota to move across the country to Washington state. This seeme...

 Bring on the wine!  My friend KP and I had another one of our long evenings together. The kind of evening where we had cause to celebrate, converse, laugh and of course, drink wine...two bottles to be exact. (smile here).  Our cause of celebrating stemmed from her victory in placing first at a division speech contest via Toastmasters International. The event was predicated from weeks of hard work, practice and placing first in two prior contests. From her original speech and help from a few friends, it was rewritten several times over. She and I had spent hours rehearsing. I was her audience and evaluator. I timed her speech so she could trim it down to the 7 minute speech it needed to be, in order to qualify at the contests. She nailed it and then some!  "There Must Be a Way" was the title. The speech told the story of her stuttering issues from childhood to adulthood, and eventual, intense speech therapy at age 30. Overcoming ...

I just found out last night through a classy well thought facebook post, that one of my friends from my former little town, drowned while vacationing in Hawaii. Now her husband has to return from vacation to Washington with a casket rather than his wife sitting next to him.  I can't even imagine.

More items to dream about... 21) Vocal Lessons for fun. 41) Be able to afford yard maintenance crew 51) Own an advertising agency 71) Be a Distinguished Toastmaster 81) Work for an advertising agency 91) Be more forgiving/release grudges

 Today warmed up with sunshine beaming down on the countryside. It was a lovely Spring day and the weather made the driving more enjoyable, as opposed to the chilly rain that beat the earth the day before. I drove through four neighboring counties today allowing the sun to play its role as spearhead of the travels. No traffic hic-ups impeded the mileage or the clock and  I felt organized and more confident driving through Seattle than other trips to the big city. Familiarity to the route mapping me to the corporate admin building then to my son's house eased my tension, which was thanks to the navigation device on my cell phone and its spare charger in the glove box.  Now, as I sit on my patio in the deep black night, with stillness hanging on the same countryside which was previously glowing with sunshine and activity, I think about all aspects of the prior twenty four hours; the staff meeting at corporate, the hours wit...

  I wasn't part of the gathering nor was I a fly on the wall the previous day when my kids met with their father, for the first time in a decade and a half. Therefore, their encounter will be difficult to describe as I had to rely on their explanation of the gathering, when the five of us met for brunch the day after.  We met at a casino/restaurant to converse over a Sunday brunch. When first seated we chose to get a morning beverage and food to help alleviate the kids' affects of being up late into the night for two nights in a row. Plus, I didn't want to seem over anxious to hear how the private event played out. Between the four of them taking turns sharing their viewpoint and my asking careful questions, I learned that the gathering went as they hoped. Hugs started their six hour visit and sharing general stories of the past fifteen years ensued, mostly from the kids. I gather their dad didn't have too many proud...

 In about eight hours, my kids will be seeing their father for the first time in years. It appears they are all anxious and my daughter has more excitement about the pending meeting than her brothers. Her and her husband landed in Seattle about 9:30 PM last night and she called me while enroute to pick up their rental car. Last night was being spent painting the town red as her older brother turned 31 a couple of days ago and they were having a delayed celebration. Seeing his dad for the first time in years, at the age of 31, blows my mind. It blows my mind I have a 31 year old first off, and I know he has a lot of pent up questions and resentments he is placing on the back burner for today's visit.  Here's to my kids...cheers, good luck and I hope it goes the way you want. I will be looking forward to the debriefing tomorrow. My daughter and son in law will be spending Sunday and Sunday night with me.